The Zidane Affair

At last we've heard what actually transpired just before Zidane was shown the red card. It was true love, and nothing else. Just goes to show that too much of anything, even love, can be dangerous.

The on-field microphone (whose only speaker was somewhere in the office of www dot freakipedia dot com) revealed the following conversations, first between MM and ZZ, then between the Ref and the linesman:

[Conversation between MM and ZZ; language used – Gallo-Roman; we've got it translated from langtolangto.com]

MM: Darling Zizou, your bald patch is shining with sweat!
ZZ: Yeah Matou? Really? How am I looking?
MM: Not too hot, if you know what I mean! And in your last match, too.
ZZ: Yeah, I have to look impeccable for the prize ceremony. Can you do something, darling?
MM: Come closer, my dear, let me try.

(As ZZ comes close, MM is overcome with passion and hugs ZZ, as we all saw, but ZZ slips away, feeling rather ticklish!)

MM: Hey! Where are you off?
ZZ: Is it still shining?
MM: Like George’s conscience! You never gave me a chance! Let me rub off the sweat with my hands.
ZZ: Naaaah! Your hands are sweaty, too.
MM: OK, you can rub it on my jersey.
ZZ: Hey, your jersey is dripping!
MM: No, no, it’s quite dry near my chest. All that hair on my chest have soaked the sweat, the jersey’s quite dry there.
ZZ: OK, I’ll do that.

(ZZ quickly rubs his bald patch on the front of MM’s jersey. However, one or two spiky hair within the said patch pokes MM on his tender skin, and he collapses to the ground, clutching the pin-pricked area.)

[Conversation between Ref and Linesman; language used – Spanish, again we went to www.langtolang.com]

Ref: Why the heck is MM dancing on the floor? Did you see anything?
LM: Yes, indeed! What a shame! ZZ nuzzled his head on MM’s chest!
Ref: What? In front of all these people? This is supposed to be a family event, the bugger’s trying to get it X-rated or what? Blatter will bust my bladder. Why can’t he make love in the privacy of the dressing room?
LM: Did you see his expression? Triple X!
Ref: Yes, you're right, he was making eyes at me, too, me a macho Latino! OK, to the dressing room he goes.

[Red Card]

First Phase Completed

The first phase of the World Cup 2006 is over. After a lot of huffing and puffing, 16 teams get ready for the knock-out stage, while the other 16 teams return home. One or two of the pre-tournament favourites have been eliminated, but, mostly, the so-called heavyweights have made the cut, albeit with a hiccup or two for a few teams. Unlike the 2002 World Cup, the outsiders have remained so, with a couple of glorious exceptions.

The two genuine outsiders who are still in action are Australia, playing in their second finals, (their first in 32 years), and Ghana, playing in their first. Australia showed grit and determination and qualified from Group F at the expense of Croatia, the 1998 semi finalists, and Japan, who made the knock-out stage in 2002. Ghana’s group was arguably tougher – the 2 team eliminated there were the Czech Republic, ranked 2 by FIFA, and the United States, ranked 5, and quarter finalists in 2002. This group revealed the ingrained weakness of FIFA’s ranking system, as the 2 teams who eventually qualified, Italy and Ghana, are currently ranked 13 and 48 respectively. The ease and style with which Ghana beat the Czechs was a real eye-opener.

Another surviving team that might be considered an outsider of sorts is Ecuador. Poland was the team favoured by many to qualify from Group A, along with Germany. Ecuador beat them convincingly. Similarly, South Korea, beaten semi-finalists in 2002, were expected by some pundits to qualify from Group G, with France. They were pipped by Switzerland, who in fact won the Group. The Swiss are the only team not to have conceded a goal so far, but then, we know that Swiss banks are impenetrable!

Of the major teams, Germany (Group A), Portugal (D), Brazil (F) and Spain (H) won all their matches. Their respective goal-differences were 8-2, 5-1, 7-1 and 8-1. Other unbeaten teams, so far, are England & Sweden (B), Argentina & the Netherlands (C), Italy (E), and Switzerland & France (G). Australia and Mexico qualified with a 1-1-1 record (1 win, 1 draw, 1 loss) while South Korea were eliminated with a similar record.

117 goals were scored in 48 matches in the group stage, at an average of 2.4375 goals per game. In 2002, at a similar stage, 130 goals were scored. This time, Argentina, Germany and Spain have each scored 8 goals, while Brazil have scored 7. Groups A, C and H had 18 goals each in their 6 matches. Group B was the leas productive group in terms of goals, with 10, of which England scored 5. Serbia & Montenegro conceded 10 goals, while Costa Rica conceded 9. Miroslav Klose of Germany has scored 4 goals, while Fernando Torres of Spain has scored 3.

Now we move on to the knock-out stage that is being kicked off later today by hosts Germany against Sweden in Munich. Later in the night, Argentina take on Mexico. The first named teams in each match are expected to win and book their places in the quarter finals, against each other. But Sweden and Mexico are not really ready to play the roles of fall guys. In fact, one must remember that not a single team in the last 16 has reached that stage by fluke. They have each played some good, hard football and beaten some excellent teams to reach where they are. Undoubtedly, we are in for some more enthralling football. Nerves, of course, will play some part, for now a defeat means elimination, so there’s a lot at stake. An upset or two will only add to the suspense.

The Bong Connection

The World Cup 2006 is on, and how! Jome Kulpi, as Kaka said to Mamam!

History of sorts was made when Vikash Dhorasoo of France became the first player of Indian origin to play in the finals. And he almost got France the winner.

Well, Dhorasoo may be the only Indian in fray, but there are a lot of Bongs in action. Firstly, there is another French player, Louis Saha, related to Meghnad. The absence of Denmark means that the hordes of Badyis are missing out this time. However, a few players from the famous Sen family are playing for other teams, like Jan Sen of Germany and Ol Sen of the USA. England's goalkeeper, however, spells his name SON instead of Sen, but he was Robin Sen to begin with.

Lot of Bongs are playing under nick-names, especially for African teams. Togo's goalkeeper is Kossi Agassa, which in Chittagongese means fledgling weed. Another African nation, Ghana, has our own Sri Shiladitya, who has Africanised his name to Illiasu Shilla. Ghana also has Gyan. Then there is Kali playing for Angola. I remember 35 years or so ago a midfielder called Kali Babu Sharma playing for the big clubs in Calcutta - Angola's Kali must be a relative. Then Ivory Coast has Boka, whose full name need not be mentioned, but the second part starts with 'C' and ends with 'a'. Kalou of Ivory Coast hails from Phuliya. Ivory Coast also has Bakary Kone, who once lived in the corner of Lord's bakary (sic).

European teams have their Bongs, too. That small boy is playing for Germany, in fact he is the captain. Balak is his name, now Germanised to Ballack. Then there is that super strong player for Croatia, Balaban. Then there is Manish Ray of Portugal, now called Maniche Rai. Spain has a Bong who is very lazy (naturally) and never hits the ball - Marchena.

Some Bong players are using their family names. Dear Kaka scored a great goal for Brazil the other day. Brazil's goalie is Dida, obviously breaking the gender bias (and the age barrier). Brazil of course broke this gender bias long ago, when they fielded Didi in the 50s and early 60s. That player has now retired from football and returned to Bengal as a political leader.

Aruna Kone and Aruna Dindane are two Ivorians who have also triumphed over the aforementioned gender bias.

Then Togo has a strange player who is also using a family name, or two, to be exact. These are Mashi and Mesho, and the player is very, very fit or 'changa'. The name has been Africanised to Massamesso Tchangai, an 'Ordho-Narishwar' sort of player.

Tunisia has another player who is obviously Bong and obviously suffering from that dreaded Bong disease 'amasha'. (Don't ask me to translate that to English - I won't be able to spell it.) He now calls himself Karim Haggui.

We've Now Seen 'em All!

Finally, the first round of matches in all the groups are over. We’ve seen all the 32 teams in action once. (In fact, we’ve now seen Germany and Poland twice, and already Poland are almost out of the cup, unless Costa Rica beats Ecuador.) Here’s what happened in Groups E, F, G and H –

Group E –

Group E began with the Czech Republic’s game against the United States. The Americans were supposed to give the Czech a run for their money. In reality, The Czechs produced an awesome display of power and skill to batter the Americans into stunned submission. There was something simple, old-fashioned and wonderful about the first goal – a cross from the wing – a firm header from a giant centre forward, Jan Koller – 1-0. Then Koller’s Dortmund club-mate Tomas Rosicky produced two beauties either side of half-time to seal the issue. For once the American’s had to feel the effect of carpet-bombing, while the Czechs rung a warning bell for the other favourites.

The next match was even better, perhaps, with Ghana surprising Italy with their speed, strength and control. However, Italy replied with no mean spirit, and skill, and won the match with goals from midfielders Andrea Pirlo and Vincenzo Iaquinta, one in each half. With the win, Italy, too, signalled better things in future matches, while Ghana are going to be more than a handful in their remaining games.

Group F –

This group was kicked off by Japan and Australia, two teams unlikely to go too far in the World Cup, or so the experts think. Australia dominated the first half, but Japan took the lead through a most controversial goal by Celtic’s Shunsuke Nakamura. As the second half progressed, it looked as though that with all Australia’s huffing and puffing, Japan would hold on. In fact, the East Asians lost a couple of golden opportunities to increase their lead. Then with about six minutes of normal time remaining, Australia hit back, and how! Substitute Tim Cahill struck two mighty blows and another sub, John Aloisi nailed the coffin. In typical Australian fashion, the men from Down Under had turned impending defeat into emphatic victory within minutes. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Brazil, the defending champions and the firm favourites, started against Croatia. The Croats weren’t overawed, and produced some fine passing and hard running to worry the Brazil defence from time to time. However, Brazil always threatened to produce some magic, and Stipe Pletikosa produced two splendid saves. Then the influential Croat captain Niko Kovac had to be replaced owing to injury. Three minutes later Kaka produced a magnificent goal to give Brazil the lead. In the second half, the Croats came on strongly and harried Brazil to no small degree. However, the goal was not to be found, and Brazil survived to achieve their eighth straight win in World Cup finals.

Group G –

South Korea, semi finalists in the last World Cup, started Group G against Togo, who were going through their own problems. The Koreans were expected to win with comfort, but it was Togo who took the lead in the first half through Mohammad Kader. The Togolese really impressed with their flair and confidence, and the Koreans looked worried. Then in the second half the Togo captain Jean-Paul Abalo was sent off, perhaps unjustly, and the Koreans sniffed a chance. Lee Chun Soo equalised superbly from a free kick, and the substitute Ahn Jung Hwan won the game with another brilliant strike.

In the next Group G match, France and Switzerland played the second goal-less draw of the tournament. After failing to score a single goal in 2002, France dismayed their supporters once again with their inept finishing. Zinedine Zidane looked in wonderful form in midfield, but the support up front was miserable. Switzerland had their moments, but were satisfied with a point in the end. They looked a well organised team, and might even have won the match with a bit more enterprise. France's ageing team, however, needs to do a lot more to leave a mark on this competition.

Group H –

The last group was kicked off by Spain and Ukraine. This was expected to be a close match, but Spain shocked the first-timers with two early goals. Their two young strikers, David Villa and Fernando Torres troubled the Ukranian defence time and again. Xabi Alonso started the scoring after a corner, then Villa scored from a free-kick. Villa added a second in the latter half, from the first penalty of the competition before Torres completed a 4-0 rout. Spain, the perennial under-achievers, have laid down the gauntlet.

In the second match, Saudi Arabia and Tunisia played an exciting 2-2 draw. Tunisia led 1-0 in the first half with a goal from Zied Jaziri. The Saudis came out strongly after the lemon break. Their young striker Yasser Al Kahtani finished a splendid move to equalise. Then veteran substitute Sami Al Jaber scored coolly to take the Saudis ahead. This was history of sorts – Al Jaber thus became one of the few players in the world to score in three different World Cups. He had earlier scored in 1994 and 1998, missing out in 2002 when Saudi Arabia, like France, failed to score a single goal. Tunisia’s goalkeeper Ali Boumnijel became one of the oldest World Cup players. He is now 40 years and two months old.

So, we have now seen all the teams on display. We’ve had lots of exciting football already, with the promise of a lot more.

The World Cup is On

The first 8 games of the 2006 World Cup finals are over. We have had a look at all the teams in Groups A, B, C and D.

Group A –
Hosts Germany kicked off the 2006 World Cup finals in Munich against Costa Rica with a win. They played well enough to silence some of Jurgen Klinsmann’s critics, but the Costa Ricans revealed several chinks in the German defence. Miroslav Klose scored 2 goals, and there were a goal each for full back Philipp Lahm and midfielder Torsten Frings. Frings’ effort was spectacular, to say the least, and he did enough to cover for Michael Ballack’s absence. Ballack return would only strengthen the midfield further. Costa Rica played well in patches, and their talismanic centre forward Paulo Wanchope got both their goals, beating the lethargic German off-side traps on each occasion with ease. However, unless they improve drastically in their next 2 games, the Costa Ricans are unlikely to progress further in this year’s competition.

In the second match, Poland started in whirlwind fashion against Ecuador. However, they failed to score and slowly allowed the South Americans to regroup, until Carlos Tenorio’s headed goal gave Ecuador the lead. The Polish conceded another goal in the second half to go down 0-2. Agustin Delgado got the goal for Ecuador after Ivan Kaviedes did the spadework. Both teams showed enough to suggest that Germany’s next 2 games won’t be easy at all.

Group B –
England started in the best possible manner against Paraguay in Group B and got a goal very early in the game after the Paraguayan captain Carlos Gamarra deflected a free-kick from England’s captain David Beckham into his own net. Paraguay lost their number one goalkeeper soon afterwards, and it looked as though England will score many more. But Frank Lampard’s long range efforts were to be the only meaningful attempts at goal for the rest of the game. Substitute goalie Aldo Bobadilla saved both with confidence. 2 insipid substitutions further reduced England’s sting, and Paraguay came close to equalising on a couple of occasions. Still, a winning start is not too bad.

The second match in this group was supposed to be a one-sided affair, with Sweden carrying too much firepower for little Trinidad & Tobago. But the West Indians fought well in the first half, and a bit of luck as well as Shaka Hislop’s goalkeeping kept the Swedes away. In the second half, T&T lost defender Avery John almost immediately when he became the first player to be red carded in this World Cup. However, the 10 remaining men from the Caribbean fought brilliantly and kept the score sheet blank. In fact, substitute Cornell Glen managed to hit the woodwork and almost pulled off a fairy tale win. Anyway, T&T’s draw was the first ‘upset’ of this Cup.

Group C –
Argentina, one of the cup favourites, played the first match of Group C against debutantes Ivory Coast. It was a tremendous first half, when mostly, Ivory Coast played while Argentina scored. Forwards Hernan Crespo and Javier Saviola got the goals. The second half was more sedate by comparison, and when Ivory Coast’s captain Didier Drogba scored towards the end, a grandstand finish was set up. Argentina managed, however, to hang on to their lead with some degree of comfort.

The second match of this so called ‘Group of Death’ pitted the Netherlands against Serbia & Montenegro. The Dutch played with some flamboyance, with Arjen Robben outstanding. Robben got the only goal of the match with a brilliant strike in the first half. The Serbs also played well and promised enough to suggest that the remaining matches in this group would be interesting, to say the least.

Group D –
Group D was kicked off by Mexico and Iran. Iran fought bravely in the first half, and defender Yahya Golmohammadi equalised Omar Bravo’s goal for Mexico to go to half-time at 1-1. In the second half, Mexico slowly stamped their authority on the game, and Bravo and the Brazil-born Zinha got 2 goals in quick succession to seal the match. The Mexicans played well enough to suggest that they might go far in this competition.
In the second match of this group Portugal beat their former colony Angola by a solitary first half goal from Pedro Pauleta after a brilliant run from Luis Figo. However, Angola, like all the ‘minnows’ in this competition so far, fought gamely, and suggested exciting results in their remaining games.All in all, it was a satisfactory series of 8 matches for the football fan.

The World Cup is hotting up, as they say!

The British Connection

The British Isles provide only one team in this year’s World Cup finals – England – but the British clubs will be well represented in Germany. Of the 736 players representing the 32 finalists, no less than 116 are with British clubs, 105 of them from England and 11 from Scotland. Of the England based players, 88 are from clubs that played in the English Premier League last season, while 17 are with lower division clubs.

Chelsea provide the most players – 16. Arsenal (15), Manchester United (12) and Liverpool (10) are the other well represented English clubs. Here is the full list:

Chelsea – 16
Arsenal – 15
Manchester United – 12
Liverpool – 10
Tottenham Hotspur – 5
Aston Villa – 3
Bolton Wanderers – 3
Fulham – 3
Middlesbrough – 3
Newcastle United – 3
Birmingham City – 2
Blackburn Rovers – 2
Everton – 2
Manchester City – 2
West Bromwich Albion – 2
West Ham United – 2
Wigan Athletic – 2
Portsmouth – 1

Of the Premier League clubs, only Charlton Athletic and relegated Sunderland are not represented.
The list of lower division clubs represented are as follows:

Southampton – 3
Coventry City – 2
Gillingham – 2
Reading – 2
Bristol City – 1
Crystal Palace – 1
Hull City – 1
Leeds United – 1
Luton Town – 1
Port Vale – 1
Wolverhampton Wanderers – 1
Wrexham – 1

The six Scottish clubs represented are:

Glasgow Celtic – 3
Glasgow Rangers – 3
Falkirk – 2
Dundee – 1
Dundee United – 1
St. Johnstone – 1

Of course there are many more players from clubs in other countries who have played with British clubs before.

Country wise, England has the most number of British based players, naturally. 21 of their 23 players play in England. Trinidad & Tobago has 15 British based players, 9 from England and 6 from Scotland. Australia has 11 England based players. Here is the full list (E=England, S=Scotland):

England – 21 (E)
Trinidad & Tobago – 15 (E-9, S-6)
Australia – 11 (E)
France – 8 (E)
United States – 7 (E)
Portugal – 6 (E)
Spain – 6 (E)
Netherlands – 5 (E)
Poland – 5 (E-3, S-2)
Argentina – 3 (E)
Ivory Coast – 3 (E)
Japan – 3 (E-2, S-1)
South Korea – 3 (E)
Tunisia – 3 (E-2, S-1)
Czech Republic – 2 (E)
Germany – 2 (E)
Serbia & Montenegro – 2 (E)
Sweden – 2 (E)
Switzerland – 2 (E)
Angola – 1 (E)
Brazil – 1 (E)
Croatia – 1 (S)
Ecuador – 1 (E)
Ghana – 1 (E)
Mexico – 1 (E)
Togo – 1 (E)

Of the 32 teams, only 6, Costa Rica, Iran, Italy, Paraguay, Saudi Arabia & Ukraine, have no British based players.

Official Squads

The best place to keep track of the official squads of all the 32 teams is http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com/06/en/060518/1/6ttk.html where you'll get all the updates from time to time.


You might also try http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/woildcup2006/files/wc2006.xls though I'm not sure if this link works - I'm internetically challanged, you see.